There’s a public pooper on the loose

It’s 2020 — the year where nothing is a surprise, like the fact that there is a public pooper on the loose.

That’s right, authorities are on the hunt for a man, believed to be in his 70’s, who defected in front of a Domino’s restaurant in the small English town of Melksham.

According to the English independent news site Wiltshire 999s, a witness says the unidentified man brazenly completed the lewd act, in broad daylight, sometime around noon last week.

The man is described as “a white male with long hair, unshaven and wearing a long sleeve shirt (possibly red) and blue jeans.” There was no word on what he would be charged with once he’s inevitably found.