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Someone Isn’t Very Bright…

Dateline: Williamsport, PA

A man claiming to be the lovechild of the sun and moon decided to flex his celestial powers by stealing a police cruiser that was carrying a K-9 unit.  Obviously, police brought that man right back to earth.

The incident happened on December 23, with Pennsylvania Real-Time News, reporting that Christopher Dryden stole the unlocked cruiser right out of the local police headquarters — but not before shouting that the moon is his mom and the sun is his dad.

Officer Tyson Minier says he heard his dog making a racket and ran outside just as his vehicle rolled out of the lot.  Several troopers pursued on foot and kept trying to yank the driver’s side door open.

A slap-stick like montage ensued with police opening the door and Dryden closing it on them while driving — accompanied by the tune of a very mad K-9 that was repeatedly smashing against its cage to take a chunk out of its would-be kidnapper.

Eventually, law enforcement won, managed to stop the car and wrestled Dryden out of the vehicle.

Bail was set at $7,500 bail and Dryden remains in jail.  He faces numerous charges such as illegal taunting of animals, disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, receiving stolen property and theft…. oh, and driving with a suspended license.

As for the officer whose car was stolen, policy states all cruisers must be locked when left unattended — so chances are pretty high Minier got an ear-full from his superior.


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